Round round round around Round round round Round round round around Circling the red splashed ground What do I do? Just do that! No. Round round round around Circling the red tinted land What do I do? Just do that! No. Round round around Circling circling What do I do? Just do that! No. Why even ask? Because I don't want do go around Just do that! No. Round round round around.
Never in my life have I felt as much a failure as now. Perhaps I have simply never seen it. But while before I have always wondered how I will survive until the next milestone, now I wonder if I want to. 20 more years. 20. I am forty now. it will take 20 more years. But while 20 means I'm more than half way there in terms of time, it is also true that I've only been truly responsible for myself for 15 years. I'll have to double this and then some. Can I do it? Will I do it? Perhaps if I take one day at a time. I don't understand how scripture applies. Jesus came and died for our sins, so that we may live and have life abundantly. What does that look like? How does that work? I have been 20 years a Christian now; have I missed the boat? Do I not truly believe, that I do not see this abundance? When I look around, I come only to one conclusion. I have not been faithful enough. I have not sacrificed enough or loved enough. I have not served enough. What a lousy bind, beca...
A place for emotions to bleed out, so everythings to returns to zero. I can move from zero. I don't need to be happy, or positive. Just zero is good enough. From zero, you can choose, freely, what to do. You may not be excited about it, but you will have the ability to do. Somewhere in that zero is the chance to be good, to feel a fleeting satisfaction. What does motivation feel like? Real motivation. A conviction of something important that lasts. How do you keep choosing to move? It is now 3.30pm. In 30 mins, it will be time to leave. Can I make these 30 mins something useful to justify my day? I do not want to. Yes, let's do something with this time. At least half an hour of work. Come, let us work.
Comments
Post a Comment